Robin Williams, 1951 - 2014

This is something I have had a hard time accepting. I just can't believe he's gone. I didn't know him on a personal level, but I felt like I did. Everyone knew who he was. I rarely ever met someone who didn't love Robin Williams. If you're like me and grew up in the '80's and '90's, you probably watched a lot of his movies. My introduction to the hilariously insane, weird, wonderful world of Robin Williams was reruns of Mork and Mindy on Nick-at-Nite. Of course Disney's Aladdin was one of the fondest memories of my childhood... in fact, this movie holds a special place for me. No one had showed up for my 9th birthday party. I didn't care about gifts, I just wanted someone there to talk to and eat cake with. I didn't have many friends in school and this really hurt and depressed me. Thankfully, my friend Robert showed up (fashionably late, Rob-Bob!), but he was the only one. My mom could see how hurt I was, even though Robert's gift of a Hot Wheels car (a gift he called "lame" and apologized for, but it meant the world to me...) cheered me up. She took us to see Aladdin at a now defunct cinema in nearby Hannibal, Missouri. I remember Robin Williams' Genie making me laugh so hard, my tears of sadness turned into tears of joy, which made my mom very happy.

And that I think is the essence of who and what Robin Williams was. Turning sadness into happiness. It just seems that he was unable to do so for himself. He brought so much joy and laughter to the world. But he could also bring you to tears. His dramatic acting was amazing. It's easy to say everything that's already been said... but it's all true. He was amazing. He was a legend. When I heard... I was totally speechless. I was heartbroken. As I type this, I find it hard to hold back tears. What's hardest to believe is the fact that he took his own life. He was the last person I would ever have expected to commit suicide. As someone who has battled depression and anxiety my entire life, I know how hard it can be. I have had, many times, thoughts of taking my own life, but I overcame. But I sought help, and I had a support system that made me seek help. If you suffer from depression, no matter how severe, GET HELP. Don't suffer in solitude. You are NOT alone in this. There are always people willing to help, there are resources available! I know how insurmountable it can be, and it sucks... I know what it's like to not want to live anymore. I know what it's like to hold a knife to my wrist and know that one action could end my life. But DON'T! There's always someone who cares! ALWAYS. Just reach out. I care. I care about YOU. No matter who is reading this, I care. It doesn't matter who or what you are. I care.

Remember the laughter he brought us. Remember the wonderful characters he brought to life, from Mork to the Genie, Mrs. Doubtfire, Peter Pan... Remember the wonder, remember the emotions that he brought to us. Maybe he made you see something inside yourself. My life has been very positively affected by Robin Williams. If I ever have children, I will watch Robin Williams movies and we will laugh together. Robin Williams will never be forgotten. He will be loved and missed... He will be making future generations laugh for many years to come. Remember that big smile of his, how he would smile and his eyes would seem to shine, and how his whole face seemed to be used to make that smile. Remember the zaniness, the silliness, the joy, the HEART. He was an amazing human being. A one of a kind, and a true original. There will never be anyone else like him...

"O Captain my Captain!"